Why Do I Torture Myself?

So, I was driving by the library today and there was a sign outside that said "Book Sale Today." Like an alcoholic driving past a bar, I couldn't help but switch lanes and head inside to spend what was left of my allowance. It was an "Old Book and Classic Stories for Adults and Children" sale today, and I am a sucker for old books. I love books that look cool, with gilded covers and old styled fonts. They may not be worth anything, but I think they look cool on the shelf! One of my favorite places in Germany was the library at San Souci. It was floor to ceiling shelves filled with books like these (only I'm pretty sure they were worth something!), I could have spent hours there. Anyway... so I browsed through the books, actually ended up leaving with only a few, and only spent $5. Go me!
One of the books I got was a short John Steinbeck novel. I like to read novels and authors that would be deemed "classics," I'm not really sure why. Perhaps it's the desire to seem "educated," especially considering most of what I read is on a 3rd grade level, occasionally I need a little neurological stimulation! :) Anyway, John Steinbeck is one author I can only rarely pass up, partly because many of his novels are short, and a partly because I am searching for a story of his that doesn't make me want to crawl into a dark hole and never come out. His are not stories to read when depressed! So I picked up another short story of his, The Red Pony, and settled down to read it this afternoon, hoping to find some ray of sunshine in his dark, dismal world. Well, it sure didn't happen this time! I mean, I guess the main characters are no worse off in the end then they are in the beginning, which is an improvement; usually several family members and/or loved ones have died before Steinbeck is satisfied. Like several novels of his that I have read, this Steinbeck followed much the same format... the main character has a great thing happen: it seems as if all of his or her dreams have come true, then the rug is tragically ripped out from under them and they end up destitute, depressed or dead (or all of the above). In this story, the little boy gets a pony from his dad (yay). Then (shocker) the pony dies (crawl into a hole). And the boy's father offers to give him the colt that their mare is about to have (yay again). And there are complications during the mare's delivery, and she has to be killed (back to the hole). The colt is born by c-section, and laid at the boy's feet. For a second or two I thought that the book was going to have a happy ending. But that's the last you read of the colt, and the book ends with a meaningless chapter about the boy's grandfather coming to visit, and no mention of the colt. So I put the book back down and wondered again...WHY DO I TORTURE MYSELF WITH HIS BOOKS?! It's ridiculous! I'm sure there's a deeper meaning that I'm missing, but it just doesn't seem worth it...
I have much higher hopes for another book I bought... it's called The Egyptian, and I bought it solely for it's cool, old-looking cover, and because I opened it, read a sentence, and was intrigued. As I am intrigued by all things Egyptian. So here's hoping that next time I can put the crack pipe down, and leave the John Steinbeck on the shelf... and tomorrow I'm going to go back to reading uncomplicated 3rd grade books where everyone lives happily ever after!