Well, I clearly have been missing from the blogging world for awhile… I don’t have a very good reason, or really any reason. It’s not that we haven’t had fun events—we had Charlie, Ruth, Corey and Andrea visit us in the end of January. We took them to Louisville and hit up the Slugger Museum, and the zoo (of course), and a neat restaurant we’d been wanting to try (Mark’s Feed Store). Then Mom Price came up for a visit to take care of the girls while Josh and I went on a staff retreat (which lasted less than 12 hours, which meant more time to hang out with Mom… Yay!). And we just had Josh’s birthday, and invited some friends over for a bbq to celebrate him turning 31 (since he was alone for his 30th birthday). Plus there are just the everyday cute pictures of my adorable children because, well, they’re adorable! But, despite plenty of “blog fodder,” I haven’t felt like sitting down and writing.
However, there has been one thing hovering in my mind to write, and since it won’t leave me alone, I guess I’m going to have to write it! And, after this, I will try hard to return with fun, picture-filled posts… we have a 2nd birthday and a baby shower coming up, I’m sure there will be lots of pictures!!
Anyway, about a month ago, our church had Baptist Women’s day. And, since I’m new, they wanted me to share a testimony. Yes, that means that last Mother’s Day I had to give a testimony at Midway, because I was leaving. And now I’ve had to give a testimony at Tunnel Hill, because I came… but hopefully I’m done for awhile! At least Tunnel Hill does testimonies in the evenings, so it’s not a huge crowd!
I struggled with what to say (of course), and the ideas rolled around in my head for awhile without landing on any particular story or scripture. I mean, really, how do you put the last year of our lives into 5 minutes? Where to even start?! I asked Josh for ideas, and he had the really helpful one of “How about Ruth- ‘Call me Marra, for the Lord has dealt bitterly with me.’” I laughed it off, because it was obviously a joke, but the story of Ruth kept coming back to me, and I started to see some similarities.
I have always loved the story of Ruth… I used to sit and read it over and over again during Sunday morning church (yes, I should have been paying attention, but at least I was in the Bible!). Back then, I was caught up in the romance of the story. But as I reread it this time, I picked up on some different aspects of the story that I hadn’t noticed before (isn’t the Bible awesome that way?!), and I started to feel a distinct affinity with Ruth. Not because she was a widowed foreigner (since I clearly am not), but because we both had to leave everything that was familiar to us to follow God. This whole experience has been very exciting for Josh, who loves change, going new places, and having new adventures. I’m sure it was just as exciting for Naomi, who was finally returning to her homeland, her own people. But Ruth was leaving her people, and everything she knew.
Besides the discomfort of new places and faces, the transition has not even been smooth for us. I’ve had trouble getting a teaching job. Our house filled with sewage. Because I have had trouble getting a teaching job, Josh had to take a semester off of school, and school is the reason we came here! All of these ups and downs, and unfulfilled plans are very frustrating for a planner… and I am a planner! But, since moving here, we have had to live without long term plans, because we are forced to live month to month. Meanwhile, we’ve been banking on Matthew 6:25-33:
For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? 26 Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? 27 And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? 28 And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, 29 yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. 30 But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! 31 Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ 32 For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33 But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
One of the most interesting things has been to see things always on the horizon, but never coming to fruition. Once, while I was visiting Josh in Etown, I got a tip to look for jobs in a neighboring county. I went home and looked that very next Monday. THERE WAS A JOB! And, better than that, it was the same job I was doing in Columbia that I loved! This MUST be God’s plan! So I rushed into putting my application in, and even emailed the guy in charge to let him know that I was interested, but still working on my application. I got an email back saying they had done interviews for the job the previous Friday… like, the Friday I was IN ETOWN! I was bummed…
But then there was another job immediately on the horizon- Ft. Knox had an opening for a media specialist, and they would take my MO certification, since they’re the army. I applied, got an interview, and thought it went well. AWESOME! No wonder I didn’t get the other job, THIS must be God’s plan- this job had better benefits, better salary, it was PERFECT! And then I never heard back after the interview.
Then, right before school, I had a couple of interviews, but nothing came of them. All of these instances served to keep my hopes up, but there was never any follow through. School started, and I had no classroom. Eventually I found a job, but it wasn’t teaching, it was as a computer technician in a school.
As I read Ruth, I thought of something I’d never noticed before… much of the story is about Ruth gleaning in Boaz’s fields. This was a privilege of the poor/needy- to go behind the workers and pick up the pieces that dropped. But as Ruth gleaned, she was not doing it to get rich, but to get enough to live day to day. They were fed, but there was no security, no squirreling some away for hard times, no emergency fund. And what was going to happen when the harvest was over? There wouldn’t be much to glean in the winter. But Boaz represented long-term security and provision. As his wife, she wouldn’t have to worry about tomorrow, or the end of harvest, or winter. She gleaned and lived day to day, until God sent her Boaz.
Right now, I feel very much like Ruth while she was gleaning. The job I have right now is like gleaning- it keeps us going day to day, but there is no security attached to it, there is no plan for next month, no plan for “what if.” We are paying our bills (mostly) and putting food on the table, but not much past that. I’ve heard rumors of some job possibilities (a retirement, a new position created), but those may not pan out. But I feel like, if I keep at my “gleaning” for now, God will send us our Boaz. Not that I’m looking for another husband- the Lord knows I couldn’t handle one of those!- but our Boaz in the form of security, stability, and reassurance.
So, for now, I will glean, focus on Matthew 6:34, and wait.
So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
